What is spiritual distress?

First, one must ask, what is spirituality, and how does a disruption occur?

In life, regardless of cultural indoctrination or societal norms, humans develop beliefs about what is important to them, like how to act in certain situations, or how to reflect on different circumstances, or how to elicit behavioural response from others.

Those beliefs then develop into life values and become inherently present, for example being polite vs. gruff as a manner of being.

Those life experiences involve an intertwinement of meaning and purpose along with hopes of a positive (or negative) expectation and an awareness of a connection (or not) beyond the material world.

For the disenfranchised religious, it could be they were traumatised by their religious body when told they’ll be separated from God, face social ruin or go to hell if they don’t adhere to specific traditions or beliefs; or, if they embraced alternative beliefs, and upon transgression that they’d be denied a place in an afterlife.

We’ve found though that people who lose faith in a particular religious philosophy or religious denomination still hold out hope of a Universal Power, or God, and are comforted by that spiritual belief in times of trouble.

For the non-practicing religious, spirituality involves having faith and trust in a higher power, a transcendent force or being supporting a deeper spiritual reality than the one provided for them by the traditional religiosity they’ve experienced in some way or another.

That sense of spirituality can provide comfort, strength, and guidance in difficult times and can be a source of inspiration, motivation, and inner peace.

And the atheist, for example the soldier exposed to kill or be killed situations contradicting their upbringing who jettisons all beliefs of a God once active in the taking of lives.

The author has chaplained several Canadian Special Forces members who when asked specifics about their faith, answered that in situations where there seemed no way out they asked “whoever” for help in the moment, but were careful to couch that with the belief that “there’s no God on the battlefield.”

Spiritual distress then is a disruption of a person’s belief system when they question a source they once turned to for hope, love, comfort, guidance or protection.

The distressed begin to doubt their long-held beliefs about God, or their higher power, or wherever they found meaning, and when they can’t sense this guiding meaning anymore, it can affect their entire being - physically, mentally and spiritually.

DIAGNOSING DISTRESS

How does one determine that a client is spiritually distressed?

The signs of Spiritual Distress are usually when one exhibits behaviours of sadness, anger, despair and anxiety.

They overtly question people and institutions with whom they were formerly in agreement, such as clergy, practitioners, institutions or helping entities.

You’ll hear them question the meaning of their suffering, asking “Why now?” and “Why me?” along with expressions of feelings of emptiness, a loss of life direction and feelings of  abandonment.

Those in spiritual distress may also ask “Why is this happening to me?”, “Why has God let this happen?”, “What’s my purpose now?”, “This is not fair”, “I’m scared” and “I don’t know how I’m going to cope.”

You’ll notice these expressions of life frustration are very similar to those of people starting to consider ending their lives.

EXAMPLES

There will be fuller explanations in this book but as a Minister, the causes I’ve run across are family members shocked upon the death of an elderly but very healthy family member.

Similarly, the unexpected death of a pre-natal or peri-natal child, of a pre-pubescent child, of a teenager or young adult all raise unending questions as to why.

Unfortunately, lack of distinct and conforming church policy can also shatter a family’s beliefs. For example, I took on counselling almost a whole family of, to that point, devout Catholic family when the presiding priest at Grandfather’s funeral intoned that we should pray for “John” as he isn’t able to pray where he is.

As a friend of the family, they came to me, in anguish and confusion, asking if their loved grandfather was in hell? Where was he? Was he a supersized sinner in the eyes of the church? Why could he not pray in heaven?

The Catholic Church DOES NOT teach that the dead cannot pray for their living family, or to the Holy Father - unless they are indeed in purgatory. And even the Holy See has officially said that hell is perhaps a place but that all souls go to the Father.

What some clergy incorrectly (in my humble opinion) postulate though is that all people should make themselves right with God before they transition, for they will not be able to afterwards.

That philosophy is viewed as a continuing device to control man both by churches and by the rabid evangelicals who use scare tactics along with fear to make congregations adhere.

We’ve even heard pastors in service profess that all souls go to hell for a time before God calls them up. (“I’m going where?”)

Indeed, although metaphysicians and other spirit-aware humans agree there are people in ‘the dark’ as a result of life choices and influences, as hypnotists, we can help bring them to the light with the help of angels.

Regardless of how negative human beliefs were propagated, they are a state of mind that we, as counsellors, can help mitigate.

ETHICAL ISSUES

There could be quite a few ethical issues a counsellor might confront but the primary one is that of trying to impose, influence or convert the client to the practitioner's own faith or belief set.

It is that very roadblock that pastors, priests, imans, rabbis, chaplains and spiritual counsellors face in society in general as those rejecting a higher power think the theologically trained will try convert them “back to the path.”

At the same time, it is certainly appropriate for all counsellors to gauge the client’s beliefs and how importantly they play in their life during the intake, but the clinician should approach the issue(s) without crossing a religious ethical boundary.

Some of the risks when incorporating religion and spirituality in counselling are the imposition of values, discrimination(s) no matter how unintentional, ineffective or singularly meaning communication, lack of sensitivity, or being too focused on the religion and spirituality aspect rather than addressing the perhaps underlying reason the client came to you.

Don’t get it wrong though, by mutual agreement, a therapist can encourage a client to utilise their faith as a coping skill. This has been effectively used to treat everything from anxiety to substance abuse.

However, if the particular brand of religion or spirituality is not one the clinician is experienced with, or feels they can not remain unbiased about, since they’ve already come to you, consider offering the client a hypnotherapeutic session centred around Ego Enhancement to bolster them, and refer out.

The biggest concern about incorporating religion and spirituality in sessions is when there is a difference in religion or spirituality between the helping professional and the client.

Even in cases where both the counsellor and the client have the same professed religion, there might still be some major difference in values between the two - as in the dead cannot pray example we quoted.

In such cases, whose religious viewpoint(s) are to be followed?

There are coaches, instructors and teachers who see religion and spirituality as an important part of counselling which have proven to be effective.

However, in their rush to fame and fortune, some trainers trying to develop a following insist their wording be used in every session verbatim with every client.

Do not do that. Reject those teachers. Every client and their perspective is different. Good training is presented as general guidelines, not carved-in-stone verbiage.

Just like any other tools, those approaches can either be beneficial when properly utilised, or bring more harm than good if abused, whether purposefully or not.

Be warned also that the traditional medical models we sometimes have to battle against may pathologize challenging emotional reactions as manifestations of mental illness.

Spiritual Distress especially is viewed by the medical community as the SOP to “call the chaplain,” but again, if not trained in the area, and suicidality, REFER OUT.

You don’t need the session fee that badly and there’s always a trained practitioner nearby.

RECOMMENDATION - An excellent 2-day, intensive, interactive and practice-dominated Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training Course  (ASIST) is taught worldwide to military, schools, nurses and the civil population by LIVING WORKS.

YOUR APPROACH

Understand that your client is the expert on themselves. They will tell you everything you need to know to work with them … if you listen. The way they dress, talk or express themselves may have absolutely nothing to do with what they’re trying to tell you.

The key is to LISTEN WITH A “BEGINNERS MIND” – The idea behind this strategy is that you take all of the things you know — all of your brilliant opinions, all of your reason and logic, even your cherished beliefs, and you put it all on the shelf for awhile. (it’ll still be there when you get back!)

A “beginner's mind” is a practice rooted in Zen. It is the mind innocent of any preconceptions, expectations, judgments and prejudices. The beginner's mind is just present to explore and observe and see "things as-they-are."

Unfortunately, once you develop the belief that you’ve “heard all this before” (and you probably have), you’ve closed your mind and are comparing what you’re hearing to what you already do or do not believe.

You are then prejudicially either agreeing or disagreeing with your client in your mind as to what is being said. Again, first rule, it is not what YOU believe, it’s what the client believes. And who knows, maybe they’re telling the truth. No matter, at the time it’s spoken to you, it is THEIR truth.

So if you listen with a beginners mind, you’ll learn something new about something already known from every session, and in realising how much you don’t know, you’ll become the insightful person who takes delight in each new client, to the client’s benefit.

BENEFITS OF SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

The spiritually healthy have an increased ability to find meaning in the midst of illness, injury and trauma.

They have an increased ability to accept lived experience by rejecting negativity and embracing positivity.

During illness, they have an increased ability to cope with pain, nausea and discomfort for an improved sense of well-being and are motivated to complete the tasks of healing, both mentally and physically.

They exhibit noticeably decreased feelings of anxiety, depression, anger and loneliness than when struggling with spiritual conflict.

They also experience decreased alcohol and drug involvement and/or abuse and are noticeably more content in their lives.

YOUR TAKEAWAY

Consider this, you don’t have to proselytise, quote, advise or counsel, all you have to do to give your client a healing session is to project a positive, non-judgemental presence for them to recognise.

If you have faith, they will pick that up from you.

If you are secure and at peace with yourself, your client will pick that up off you.

If you are caring and understanding, they will pick that up off you, too.

Sometimes, just being reminded of what they used to feel themselves when spiritually balanced is enough to start them on the healing path.

Feel free to lead the way.

Blessings.

Namaste

====================

The Reverend Timothy Jones, B.Min. MA PhD(c)
Board Certified Hypnotherapist (CI, FNGH, OB)

Outgoing President (’24) - NGH’s Clergy Special Interest Group (CSIG)
With a Pastoral and Counselling Practice in Ontario, Canada

=====================